The past week and few days have been rather heavy. Another grandma passed away. On June 18th she lost her battle with terminal cancer. This woman was put through so much in the last two years of her life, and yet she faced it all with bravery. She remained independent for as long as she could, because that’s who she was. We were all blessed with the ability to say our goodbyes. We’d selfishly hoped she would hold on just long enough to allow my little brother to say goodbye, and she did. She passed the night he returned from Madagascar. It’s not often everyone is granted a moment to say their goodbyes to a dying relative so we’re thankful.
Grandma D was one of the women that helped me acknowledge my wanderlust. She loved to travel, and would constantly take trips. My first trip to Germany was actually with her, my mom, a friend, and my friend’s mom. [Also, before I go any further I have to say that I can’t help but chuckle when I remember that her last name is Deutsch.] She was there when my
obsession love for Germany was born. I was hoping she would one day come visit Herrball and I once we moved, but life happens and plans change. She will not see us get married and she will not visit us, but that’s okay. I got to experience something with her that not many in my family has, and that is what I will hold on to. And as cheesy as it may sound her memory is still alive, and will continue to live, so in a way she will technically be able to do both, even if it’s only through us.
A couple days ago we went through her house. Going though a dead persons stuff is such a weird and awkward thing to do. I mean I know it needs to be done, but it still feels like an awkward invasion of privacy, and it’s also strange to just divvy up said stuff. I didn’t really want anything, honestly. She left me some silver and candlesticks so I was going to take that and let that be it. That changed when I found her travel photo albums. I just wanted to flip through them and see the places she visited, but then I remembered our trip. I went through every single album until I found the right one (of course it was the last one I looked in. That’ll happen when you start looking at each end first rather than go from one end to another.) I had successfully managed to keep myself together, but that damn photo album ruined it. They aren’t even good pictures. I mean it. They’re some of the blurriest pictures I’ve ever seen. (I’ll post a couple later) So I added the photo album to the things I was taking. Even if they are the worst pictures ever taken they’re still some of the most beautiful pictures to me because of the memories we shared when they were taken.
As sad as I am for her passing I am so honored that she came into my life. Many people don’t get more than two sets of grandparents. I’ve been blessed with an extra grandma. I was also blessed that I knew her for as long as I did, and while I’m sad for now I’ll find little ways to keep her alive. Like wearing lockets with her picture in it for my or my step-sister’s wedding, or maybe I’ll plant roses for her. All I know for sure is Magdalene (Maggie) Deutsch was a wonderful woman that touched so many lives, and that I am immensely lucky to have been able to call her Grandma D.
To the living, I am gone.
To the sorrowful, I will never return.
To the angry, I was cheated,
But to the happy, I am at peace,
And to the faithful, I have never left.
I cannot be seen, but I can be heard.
So as you stand upon a shore, gazing at a beautiful sea – remember me.
As you look in awe at a mighty forest and its grand majesty – remember me.
As you look upon a flower and admire its simplicity – remember me.
Remember me in your heart, your thoughts, your memories of the times we loved,
the times we cried, the times we fought, the times we laughed.
For if you always think of me, I will never be gone.