Shit they never tell you when you’re growing up

-You can’t be anything you want.

It’s completely impossible. I’m not sure if this is a strictly American thing or not, but we (Americans in general) tell children “you can be anything you want when you grow up.” Really? You’re sure about that? As an American I’m pretty sure my chances of being a princess are pretty slim. And yes, I did want to be a princess. I’m not saying we shouldn’t encourage children to try to achieve their dreams, even if they’re rather lofty, but maybe we should be just a tad more realistic. I mean we don’t even have a monarchy.

-Being an adult is nowhere near as fun as you think it is.

Seriously, kids, don’t grow up. Just stay blissfully unaware of things like taxes, bills, and debt. Stay in kindergarten where you get nap time and snack time.

-You’re going to kick yourself in a few years when you’re thinking about all the money you made and spent on frivolous things before you had adult responsibilities.

I miss when I had money. Did I really need to buy everything I looked at? Younger me says “Yessssssss! I needed all the things.” Current me is sobbing in a corner about how I can’t afford life right now.

-Hey, we’re totally going to make you go to college/university, and you’re going to be stuck with crippling debt.

Yeah. Um. I’ve got nothing. I mean even if they did explain that to me I’d still be in the same predicament. So to all the American children out there going to American universities: I’m sorry, and good luck. Try not to be like me and stick around for a ridiculously long time.

-You’re going to stop being friends with some of your closest and best friends.

It’ll happen. People come and go in our lives, it’s a rather depressing fact. That being said, you’ll meet some really amazing new best friends. There will also be friends that might stick around for your entire life.

-One Christmas morning you’ll wake up and the Christmas spirit will be gone.

Am I the only one this happened to? It was almost like night and day. I was so, so excited for Christmas, but on Christmas morning I woke up and everything just kind of felt normal. Weirdly enough time started to move a whole lot faster after that. Years fly by now, and it’s kind of freaking me out. Does the Christmas spirit ever come back? Please say yes. I really liked being all giddy the night before, even if I knew Santa wasn’t real.

-You will one day find someone that you’ll want to wake up to for the rest of your life.

Yeah, no one ever really told me that. Maybe it was because I come from a family where divorce is the norm, or maybe it was because my family isn’t exactly the “share our feelings” type, but I didn’t really grasp that until almost three years ago. I should also add that this may happen a few times in your life depending on your situation, personality, or sexual orientation.

-Animals are quite literally the best beings on the planet. Love them and show them only kindness.

Okay, this is a given, but no one ever said it out loud so it counts.

-You may not fit into societal norms.

Good. Be you. You’re so much cooler, even if you don’t believe it. I know it. I’ve lived it. (I sound so old saying that. I’m only 24, I swear!)

-There’s nothing wrong with being weird.

There isn’t, but if you spend all day, every day inside and don’t talk to people then maybe you should get out more. Speaking from experience, being weird is cool and all, but being a literal hermit and festering in your own self-loathing and depression is not. Get out and make other equally weird friends. They’re out there, I promise.

-Talk to someone if you’re hurting–mentally or physically.

Easier said than done, I know, but do it. Trust me

-Life is full of adventure, don’t be afraid to seek it.

Really, the world is full of different adventures just waiting for you, don’t be afraid to seek one out.

-Maybe consider learning the basics about taxes and personal finance while you’re in high school.

It’s so awful and boring, but it’s extremely useful to know.

-Being tossed into adulthood is terrifying.

Why does no one explicitly state: “Hey, when you become an adult it’s really scary.” You’re just kind of tossed out into the open ocean with a floatation device, a soggy map, and a satellite phone that only works sometimes. I mean you’re given the basic tools, and people you can ask for help, yeah, but still, it’s difficult to navigate your way. However, know that everyone has experienced it…except maybe the insanely rich, but they don’t count.

-Enjoy growing up.

It only happens once, enjoy it while you can. Create memories and experience life to the fullest.

Blogging at almost 5 am always creates such random posts. I should really be sleeping rather than creeping around on the internet, but here I am, writing weird, semi-sappy posts to children that will never read my blog. Which, let’s be honest, is probably a good thing. Children don’t need to read about my adventures of staying in a possible brothel in a neighborhood named after a developing country in Rome.

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8 thoughts on “Shit they never tell you when you’re growing up

    • 5 am Brittany likes to throw out some truth-bombs, apparently. I’m so glad you enjoy my blog. Even if it often feels like I’m talking/writing to myself I enjoy it. Having someone else that enjoys it makes it a million times more enjoyable. ❤

    • I think it’d really help them out, but going into adulthood blind seems to be a rite of passage. I guess that’s a better rite of passage than others, but I might just be saying that to make myself feel better.

      • Oh no! Don’t remind me. As much as I’m looking forward to the move, I’m dreading for this drowning feeling to get worse, and of course it probably will. Oh well, sink or swim. We’ll figure out which I do, maybe sooner than we originally expected if Herrball’s other plans fall through.

      • Me either, but I’m also super nervous…and unprepared. I (not so) secretly hope we do end up in Germany sooner than we anticipated.

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