I’m meeting increasingly weird, creepy individuals, and I would really like it to stop now, thank you.

Every day I take Nyx for a walk. If I don’t she will likely eat me alive, and I don’t really have the mental capacity to handle that. There’s a nice, paved path along the river that we always walk down. There are typically enough people that pass by to make me feel like I’m not completely alone, but few enough to not distract Nyx too much. We walk back to the car through the historic district. It’s shady, and there are fewer people so I can let Nyx relax a bit and move further away from me.

People will occasionally stop to ask to pet her, or let her meet their dog, but for the most part everyone keeps to their selves…until recently. While out on our daily walk a few weekends ago a guy walked straight up to Nyx to pet her while I was trying to make her sit still and pay attention to me. Please, sir, take your creepily long nailed fingers off my dog. I’m trying to train her, and you are ruining everything. Thankfully he left after a short interruption.

Last week I met a strange guy that would not shut up and leave me alone. He at least asked to pet Nyx while we were having a water break (it’s so hot here already). During our twenty to thirty minute conversation I learned that he (supposedly) worked for Guy Fieri on the Food Network. Used to own a Ferrari. Had a pit-bull that chewed up his ex-fiancee’s $4,000 Prada shoes. He once walked from Atlanta to Montgomery with a backpack full of beer. It took him four days, and two of those he had a friendly, mangy chicken walking with him for company. He’s super into the SoCal scene, but in Northern Cali, where he’s from; however, he’s stuck here for something he did in Atlanta, that “wasn’t even his fault,” until he pays back the state. He’s working toward paying back the state by “volunteering” at the Salvation Army. It’s also where he’s living right now. I swear I am not making any of that up. He actually said all of that.

This weekend we met a very intoxicated couple that were all about Nyx. The woman picked Nyx up without asking, and refused to put her down when she wanted. Nyx bit her nose. She then proceeded to take a whole bunch of pictures of her, while saying “I’ve been doing this for my entire trip.” The man kept talking about lesbians, and when I mentioned that Nyx was pronounced like Stevie Nicks he decided to enlighten us all by telling us that “bitches always follow him around thinking he was that guy from Fleetwood Mac.” Thank you, sir, but I’ll be having none of your nonsense. When we finally got away the woman yelled out “I work for (couldn’t hear) and PETA, so I’m not some weirdo creep just taking pictures of dogs.” Lady, that is exactly what you are.

And then today while on our way back to the car we had to walk under a bridge. This older man got out of a parked mini-van that had all the doors open with a woman sitting in the passenger seat to try to get Nyx to come to him. He stood at the back of the van while clapping, and talking sweetly to her trying to entice her to walk over to him. She was all for it, because she loves attention, but since I am slightly more intelligent that my four month (ish) old dog we kept walking. What the hell, man?! Could you look more like a creep?

So it looks like I’m going to have to find a new place to park and walk my puppy, because I’m kind of tired of being accosted by increasingly weird people. I would rather not be kidnapped, thanks. Why do I have to attract such creepy people? It’s so annoying having to change my daily routine, but better safe than sorry.

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