Don’t trust the cake. It lies.

Let me start by saying that I love cheesecake, specifically I love plain, New York style cheesecake. I don’t like to get fancy with it, because plain, normal cheesecake is the best. THE BEST, YOU HEAR?!

Bear with me, some of this is a bit hazy since it’s been a while.The first time I went to Germany (2006 or so) we stopped in some town on our whirlwind tour through Europe for the night. Which meant we got to get of the tour bus and leave the giant tour group filled with rather obnoxious teenagers and their grumpy chaperones. YES! I mean yeah I was a budding teenager myself, but I was traveling with my mother, step-grandma, a friend, and her mom so I didn’t get the chance to be obnoxious…not that I’d want to be.

We decided to take a walk since we’d gotten to the town earlier than expected. During said walk it started to rain so someone in our tiny group had the bright idea to dip into a little cafe/bakery. It took me five minutes to pick out what baked good I wanted to eat. My struggle was deciding between the cheesecake, which looked like a cheesecake from home so I was really tempted, a muffin (it’s not often you can go wrong with a muffin.), or nothing, because I wasn’t all that hungry…but damn it it all looked so appealing. IT WAS A LIE, A BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL LIE! I chose the cheesecake. Why, oh why, did I choose the cheesecake? For anyone else that ever finds themselves in this position pick the muffin. Don’t let the cheesecake sirens lure you in. Stay strong, and don’t torture your taste buds like I did.

Never in my life have I been able to pull the top of a cheesecake off until the one I bought in Germany. Never in my life has a cheesecake crumble at the touch of a fork until the one I bought in Germany. Never in my life have I felt so betrayed by one of my favorite deserts until the one in Germany. It was almost chalky and tasted of straight cheese. I wanted a cheesecake Mrs. Baker-lady, not a slice of 100% cheese. I did my best to eat as much as possible, because I really don’t like to waste food or money. After all I made my bed, now I’d have to lie in it. Thankfully Grandma D came to the rescue and ate the rest. Bless that woman. She, at least, love it so none of it went to waste. And I’d learned my lesson: don’t think German desserts will taste like the ones from home.

Fast forward to almost four years ago. HB learns of my absolute distaste for German cheesecake, and he is appalled. What do I mean I don’t like German cheesecake?! His mom was coming to visit so he insisted that she’d make me a “proper cheesecake” and that I’d love it. Okay, if you have to insist that “everyone knows you don’t eat cakes from a bakery” and that if “you have one of my mom or Oma’s cakes you’ll change your mind” you’re probably not going to convert me. 1. In what world do people not eat cakes from bakeries? (There isn’t one) and 2. Is your family’s cheesecake like a New York style cheesecake? No? Then I probably won’t change my mind. For me to change my mind on a type of food you have got to really, and I mean REALLY, knock it out of the park, because I’ve already got a bad taste in my mouth (pun) about it. The day comes for me to try yet another German cheesecake. This time made by HB’s mom. And the outcome was…exactly the same as before. HB then insisted I’d have to try it in Germany with the “proper ingredients” and then I’d love it, especially if Oma cooked it. No, no, no, Love, I am not trying another cheesecake. If I want a cheesecake I’ll just make my own New York style cheesecake and bask in it’s glory. Americans may be fat, but at least we’ve got delicious dessert that actually tastes sweet.

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