That time everyone thought we were lesbians a.k.a. My Freshman Year

My freshman year of university/college (whatever you’d like to call it) was a bit of a wild ride at times. Looking back on it I kind of miss it. I’m happy where I am, but boy was it fun.

When you apply to university (mine at least) you have the option to pick your roommate or just be assigned one. When I filled out my preference for a roommate my mom was a bit worried about my choice:

“Don’t you know anyone going to school with you?!”

“Yes, but I haven’t talked to her since 8th grade.”

“You should put her down as your choice anyway.”

“……..I’m just going to go with a random roommate assignment, because it’ll basically be the same thing since I haven’t talked to Briony in four years.”

I seriously lucked in in the roommate department. We barely talked before meeting, only to figure out what the other was bringing so we didn’t have two of everything. Honestly, the first time we met in person I thought she was a bit stuck up, and she thought I was a complete hippie (probably because my Facebook profile picture was me in a tie-dye shirt with crazy, curly hair). Turns out we were both wrong. By that evening we’d become fast friends over a broken window shade that we “fixed” and never touched again. It actually got to the point where I’m pretty sure the entire hall thought we were lesbians. Understandably so since we wrote “I am horny, bring me women- Gilgamesh” on our whiteboard on our door. That wasn’t the first time someone thought we were in a relationship, either. We went to student counseling to try to figure out how we could help our friend with her anxiety, and the counselor asked if we were there for couples therapy. I mean we would have made a cute couple.

Some of the other girls on our hall weren’t so lucky with their roommate assignments. Take one of our friends (the one we were trying to help), for example. Her original roommate was obsessed, like weirdly obsessed, with all things pink and princess, so much so that she decided to steal our friends pink princess duck. [WHY?? Like it was a rubber duck. You could find it online for like a dollar] Her second roommate was worse, but we didn’t find that out until later in the year. RM2 started out as a completely normal person. She wore pants [most people do, but it becomes a thing later], cursed, wanted to be a scientist, partied, etc. However, somewhere halfway through the semester she ditched her pants for God-awful, full-length denim skirts, because women wearing pants were amoral and against God. She, and her cult church friends, began condemning people (fellow Christians and non-Christians alike) to Hell left and right. My personal favorite is when she claimed she was a “born again virgin” (That. Is. Not. A. Thing. Girly.). She attributed all of this to “Brother Nathan” and his wife, and she wouldn’t shut up about them and the things they said. RM2.0 decided to start treating our friend horribly, but oddly enough loved my roommate and I…two of the least Christian girls on the hall. She ended up leaving school, and we never saw her again.

She wasn’t the only character on the hall, either. There was one girl that came to school late, and ended up leaving shortly after. But while she was there she made sure everyone knew it by having very, VERY loud sex with her boyfriend at all hours of the day. Our poor Resident Assistant had the misfortune of telling them multiple times to turn it down a few levels. There was another girl that looked like your typical goth/emo kid. When she was angry or upset she would scream and throw things across her room, but when she was happy she would loudly sing opera. A group of girls decided to have their own winter Olympics (this was during the Vancouver Olympics), which they took VERY seriously. It was a weird, but fun, time in my life.

People aren’t lying when they tell you that your life changes when you go to college/university. Your freshman year is the start of your new life. You start to discover yourself, and you get to experience some things that can’t be experienced anywhere else. For anyone about to start school: enjoy it! Be open to try new things, and meet new people. Some of them will be your lifelong friends.


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